Patient: "Sarah" (name changed)
Age & bio: 33 year-old female, single, starting a new business
Presenting Complaint 🌿
Sarah first came to see me approximately two years ago with persistent right-sided neck and shoulder pain.
Over the course of our treatments, it became clear that while the pain was physical, there was a consistent pattern surrounding when it would flare. Every summer she found herself completely exhausted, trying to juggle two very different worlds.
By day, she worked long hours in a busy serving job. The environment had become increasingly stressful, with constant workplace drama and conflict. As one of the most senior employees, she often felt responsible for holding everything together and worried about letting others down.
At the same time, she was building a gardening business that she absolutely loved. It was growing steadily, yet she struggled to leave the serving job behind.
Interestingly, it wasn't because she doubted her ability to succeed.
She was avoiding leaving the serving job because she was terrified of the conversation she knew she needed to have- and the person she'd be having it with.
She was harbouring a lot of misplaced guilt and was mostly concerned with disappointing her employer. She feared how they would react if she handed in her notice and that they would treat her very poorly upon resignation.
Despite knowing she wanted to move forward, she felt completely stuck.
Clinical Course 🩺
As we continued working together, one thing became increasingly clear.
Sarah didn't need help making the decision.
She had already made it.
What she needed was a way to move through the fear that came with acting on it.
During her treatment, we spoke about something I often teach my clients: the body is designed to experience emotions—not stay trapped in them.
I explained that while fear can feel overwhelming, the most intense physiological surge associated with an emotional response is relatively brief, lasting only about 90 seconds.
Rather than trying to suppress the feeling or continue to avoid having a conversation she clearly needed to have, I encouraged her to simply allow herself to experience it as it happened in the moment. All 90 seconds of it.
We talked about the fact that she wasn't actually avoiding quitting her job.
She was avoiding the discomfort of the conversation. THE DISCOMFORT OF 1 EMOTIONAL STATE FOR A FINITE, 90 SECOND, PERIOD OF TIME.
So I left her with one simple thought:
"Whatever happens, it's only ninety seconds."
Even if the conversation itself would last longer than ninety seconds, physiologically the "feeling" would be gone in 90 seconds if she allowed herself to experience it rather than resist it and we made THAT the focus of her next steps.
The Outcome ✅
The very next day, Sarah handed in her resignation.
When she returned for her next treatment, she told me she had repeated the same phrase to herself as she walked into the meeting:
"It's only ninety seconds."
She wasn't trying to eliminate the fear.
She simply stopped allowing the fear to make the decision for her.
The conversation ended up being far less overwhelming than she had imagined.
Over the following weeks, her gardening business continued to grow, she paid off her remaining debt, and she unexpectedly received a $5,000 insurance settlement.
What fascinated me most, however, wasn't what had changed in her life.
It was what had changed in her body.
Despite now spending significantly more time performing physical labour in her gardening business, her neck and shoulder pain had almost completely resolved.
Objectively, this was the most relaxed and compliant I had felt her tissues since we began working together two years earlier.
She was asking more of her body than ever before.
Yet her body no longer felt like it needed to protect her in the same way.
Emotional Anatomy Reflection 🪞
One of the greatest misconceptions about emotions is that they need to be controlled before we can move forward.
In reality, our physiology tells a very different story.
When we perceive a threat—whether that's a near miss while driving or simply the anticipation of a difficult conversation—the amygdala rapidly signals the hypothalamus to activate the sympathetic nervous system.
Within moments, adrenaline is released, breathing changes, heart rate increases, and muscles throughout the body increase their resting tone in preparation for action.
Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor popularized the concept that this initial chemical surge lasts approximately 90 seconds, provided we don't continually reactivate it with our thoughts. While the exact timing isn't universal, the principle is an important one: the body's initial physiological response is designed to resolve.
What often keeps us stuck isn't the original emotion.
It's the story we continue telling ourselves about it.
Every time we replay the conversation, imagine the worst-case scenario, or convince ourselves we can't cope, the brain interprets those thoughts as fresh evidence that the threat is still present.
The body faithfully responds by creating another wave of protection.
Sarah didn't need to become fearless before she resigned.
She simply needed to trust that her body could move through the discomfort without needing to avoid it.
Sometimes the greatest shift doesn't happen because we eliminate fear.
It happens because we stop letting fear make our decisions.
Clinical Pearl 🦪
In almost any case - I know within 30 seconds if someone's pain or issue has an emotional connection by asking questions that answer this one thing:
IS THERE A PHYSICAL MECHANISM TO THE INITIAL COMPLAINT.
In Sarah's case, there were undertones of a physical mechanism (the manual labour she was doing on a regular basis) but the big distinguishing factor is the actual EXACERBATION of that pain wasn't being experienced during the activity itself.
It was often weeks or months later as she struggled with seasonal depression and recovering from months of overextending herself, both phsyically AND emotionally.
Had her pain been more present during the summer season, responsive to mechanical loads, I may have considered the mechanics as being a more significant driver of the problem.
But given all the emotional language used to describe the time during which the "injuries" were occuring, the fact that it was only in the winter where she became more incapacitated by symptoms and that there seemed to be a connection with her pain levels and stress - it helped me decide to open up more conversations around the emotional anatomy than sticking to a purely mechanical approach.
Reflection Question ✨
Where in your own life—or perhaps in your clinical work—are you mistaking temporary discomfort for genuine danger?
Is there a conversation you're avoiding?
A decision you've already made but haven't acted on?
Or perhaps a patient whose body is asking them to move through an emotion rather than around it?
Sometimes the body doesn't need us to become fearless.
Sometimes it simply needs us to stay present long enough to discover that the wave passes.
💛Geneviève
PS. Please feel free to share your thoughts/comments below or bring it to the community. The community space is like a lab- a place where we can share these kinds of observations and get feedback on your real cases! And if you don't quite get how the community piece works just reply to this email - I'm happy to help!
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